Mind In Transit

My mind is in transit, with no specific destination in sight.

The emotions that accompany a journey of this magnitude can verge on insanity.

Yet, I find myself moving forward into the unknown.

I must be honest with you;

this journey is not one I have chosen.

My fears whisper louder and louder,

until they explode in my thoughts,

screaming over and over, "It's time." 

So, I am trusting the voices of my inner being and

allowing them the freedom to take flight wherever they choose.

 

Perdida Contigo

Momentos atemporales pasaron vagando en busca de llamas eternas.
Sediento por lo inalcanzable y doloroso por los tesoros escondidos dentro de las paredes.
Sin aliento y decididos, deambulamos perdiéndonos en el laberinto de la vida.

Esto lo llevo de regreso cuando cruzo a mi universo, mi tiempo, mi vida.

Llevo dentro de mí los escombros que capturaron mi corazón

en una ciudad perdida contigo.

The Nothing I’ve Become

I know what some of you are thinking ~ that my life is in ruins and/or I’m drowning ~ possibly even calling out an S.O.S. of sorts ~ but no ~ none of it is the case.

The reality is I have evolved into a state of nothingness over a few years. This epiphany was slow in the making but layer after layer my inner being found itself emptier and emptier. The nothing I’ve become doesn’t need saving from a hero. In actuality, this state has given me the most exquisite gift in life, peace.

My journey began in 2014 when my consciousness burst open. I discovered in me an emotion called empathy that surpassed every boundary ~ every life form. I became one with all living creatures ~ understanding and feeling the pain and suffering of the universe.

This oneness with creation forced me into veganism. I could no longer be the person who walked in a zombie state of mind devouring all in its path. Pretending to be a god had zero value to me, instead, I opted to shed the worth humanity placed on me and found infinite richness.

The more I let go of the wealthier I felt. The nothing I’ve become is the me now.

I have no walls or motes surrounding my mind ~ spiritually I am free. I hold nil value to this planet but that’s ok. I love being overlooked and undervalued because then I don’t have to be one with or of the masses, I can simply be nothing.

You Are the Magic

Stop looking for the magic.

You are the magic!

 

It's ok ~ It's ok

 My wings wrapped you in a blanket of love

and sheltered you from the world.

It's ok to let them go,

to fly ~ to glide ~ to float.

It's ok to set off on your own journey,

to feel the breeze ~ the raindrops against your skin.

It's ok ~ it's ok.

I was never divine,

just feather upon feather ~ flesh upon flesh,

with no real beginning or end.

Just a middle where I found solace in your presence

and stretched out my embrace to give you safety from the storm.

It's ok ~ it's ok.

Reach out to the wind that has been howling

calling out your name to touch the stars.

It's ok ~ it's ok.

It's time to watch you soar.

It's ok ~ it's ok.

It's time to hear you roar. 

It's ok ~ it's ok.

Morphine Takes the Form of Words and Whispers

 

I can feel your presence, even though you're silent.

I can hear you shifting through the shadows to allow more light to reach me.

I don't wanna make a sound, lest it breaks the gossamer threads of

my thoughts reaching you.

I lie down at night and think of messages in bottles,

airtight reassurance of the strength hidden in their cursive writing.

They say sometimes it takes years to reach another shore. And not because of the tides.

It's because of the owner's soul that somehow slips inside before the bottle gets corked.

Throughout the journey,

the stowaway keeps fighting for a way out, to no avail.

Perhaps the tides of time will put an end

to the voyage soon. Perhaps not.

I feel your presence, definitely.

Sometimes in the form of our messages-in-bottles drifting closer.

Sometimes in a sudden gust in the wind. Sometimes in a smile fading in the night.

Were you just there, turning the corner?...

I Just Am

As the sky opens its curtains to the stars,

I see the Universe and feel its vastness.

It offers me time to rest.

I see that I am not here to question my presence, I just am.

I know my past has been filled with numerous directions.

But realize that my journey was predetermined

and gracefully accept its course.

Trust me, I tried fighting the offerings by wandering about.

But the nothings led me to nowhere,

and finally out of exhaustion I fell.

For me, this is a chance to reconcile with a beautiful revelation.

I wish that I had found it,

the thing that couldn't be.

But now the stars are guiding me so finally, I just am.

I'm Here ~ It's Been A While

How long has it been since our worlds collided

since we danced in each other's thoughts?

I'm here ~ it's been a while.

Are you searching like I am

looking through the ends of time?

I'm here ~ it's been a while.

I am still running through obstacles

following the lights to find you.

I'm here ~ it's been a while.

Remember the dreams we shared

the lives we lived?

I'm here ~ it's been a while.

Forsaken From Your Love

I journeyed through the centuries

forsaken from your love. 

The essence of our fire still

flickered in my soul.

Time sent you to come find me

to intercept my road.

To pump the life into my veins

and lift me from the black.

Without You

As moments keep on passing

the void within me swells.

I stop my thoughts from dwelling

on the fact that you are gone.

The numbness keeps me moving,

feeling nothing as I ramble through.

I go through life's emotions

without passion, without form.

My existence without you lost all meaning

but somehow I keep on.

I make-believe we never were,

so I can function all alone.

How

How can I put each day aside, letting it fade into the past
erasing all images, I have stored in my heart of you?

Is life so shallow that our existence consists of only what we touch?
And, if when we remember, does it have to be like a dream
or a fantasy we are not sure we even experienced?

How can I bring back what I once felt, what I once loved?
How can I bring back the stars that seemed to touch my fingertips,
the moon that brightened even the darkest of all of my nights?

How can I bring back the light that entered my being,
how, when I do not even have you?

Home To You

I lost the fire to my soul,

somewhere in time.

Since then it has been wandering centuries

looking to find and inhale yours.

The stars are not as bright and

the Sun never burns my skin anymore.

Looking for your essence

in the empty eyes of strangers,

feeling for your presence

under each and every stone,

endlessly I wander,

to feel the fire of your touch.

Hopelessly needing to hear the universe,

through the whispers of your voice.

Alas, long and weary is the road

that leads me home to you.

Time II

Time: a four letter word that has so much meaning in our everyday life as living beings and yet exists only as a mere fabrication for us to feel our humanity against the vastness of the universe.

Time: a sense of failing of not achieving of not reaching the sky to touch the brightest star.

Time: a farm somewhere in a faraway dream where the grass touches your fingertips and the crickets sing their morning song.

Time: a long lost love that will never be that will always travel in a parallel world never ever crossing with yours.

Time: a path of loneliness where the only voice that comforts you is the one coming from your own mind.

Time: a closing chapter that will shatter your heart and always keep you feeling numb.

Time: a last goodbye a closing door a wound that will never begin to heal with 'time.'

Time: 

A Life Erased

The first beam of sunlight

the first yellow daisy

the first caress on a sandy beach ...

All firsts, all creating building blocks of vivid memories

keeping dreams alive.

Then suddenly recollections fade one by one.

Your first love, your first touch,

your first kiss under the light of a tropical moon.

One by one slowly deleting from your mind becoming

a life erased

"Dedicated to those who love and carry on the light of their loved ones

inflicted with dementia"

Between Our Dreams

Roaming alone in the space between our dreams.

Feeling restless and forgotten, feeling ever so displaced.

Wandering aimlessly in search of the slumber

that will bring me back to then.

Transcending the footprints of time,

 I look for that paradoxical sleep.

The deepest of dreams where the ruins surround me,

and where a hug is just a hug.

Puedo sentir que estás ahí

My Hut

My happy place has no voices that go above a certain pitch.

The air has a breezy mild chill and the blueness of the water puts you into the loveliest of moods.

There is no fancy marble, carpeting or leather to come home to. 

There are no phones, gadgets or media outlets that keep you in a stupor.

There's just calm.

Each breath is invigorating. Each sunrise leaves you speechless.

And when you look up at the moon nestled amid the brightest of stars,

the universe whispers its sweetest of dreams. 

I Have Not Been Perfect

Today I realized that I have never reached perfection.

No matter how hard I tried, 

no matter the endless face masks, 

unfulfilling liquid diets,  

exhausting exercise plans,

lonely soul searching weekend getaways, 

chapters and chapters of dust covered books,

tearjerking love stories to move me,

perfection was never achieved.

My skin never looked flawless,

my body never acquired the perfect weight or curve,

tranquility and peace did not reside in my mind,

words on pages seemed empty and pretentious,

and love never ever reached my shore.

So finally, I have concluded that

up until now perfection has not defined me.

No matter how hard I tried,

I have not been perfect.

ROSEVIEW - Leap (Official Stream)

Meet You At Infinity

Indefinite affection,

overpowering fervor,

boundless love,

that's what I feel for you.

Meet You At Infinity

HOPE

A ray of light has been leading my path,

always there watching over me.

I never looked for the beam.

Thought I was walking in shadows,

instead my road was predetermined, 

with ghosts guiding the way.

Borrowed Words

I borrowed a poem to start an adventure.

Its true meaning I didn't quite understand but still made it my own.

I didn't know where it'd take me, I didn't care for how long,

I just journeyed in character far from the one I had known.

Somewhere along the pathway, I felt my footing off.

I couldn't describe the sensation except to say my steps seemed broken.

Each move that I took brought me further from a lifeline

and the further I went I saw nothing of me.

So here I am admitting that borrowed words like borrowed lives have no meaning.

The words we use to feed our souls, our hopes and dreams cannot belong to someone else.

The light that shines out from within all of us shoots out in different angles,

but the truest and purest light is found inside the most unpretentious and uncomplicated souls.

This new year I follow my own voice.

With humility I bow to shed the words that were not mine

and place them back where I first found them.

This is me in a perfect state of imperfection wishing all of you in my own words love.

I Love Our Distance

It allows me to breathe but still feel connected.

It gives me comfort when I look up at the moon to see you staring back my way.

It's chaos and serenity all in one.

What the Universe created is just us.

It's who we are, it's who we have been throughout eternity.

Waiting Just For You

Waiting

for the day you come into my life,

my heart is swept away,

I find you by my side smiling.

Waiting

for the day I reach out to hold your hand,

I feel your tender touch,

I have you next to me caring.

Waiting

for the day I feel the safety of your arms,

laughter fills my life,

I float into a perfect state of happiness.

                          

Waiting just for you.

Mi Amorcito

I was just thinking of how different life might have been.

Moments slipped by so fast, so many lost and forgotten.

Nothing truly captured, reality sadly erased with time.

Here we are now holding on to the seconds of life.

Trying to feel the heartbeats, keeping the tears inside our minds.

Wishing the journey had lasted longer, maybe with gentler kinder waves.

I know you're still here loving me with all that you have.

It's just that a part of you is trapped unable to communicate your love.

This loss has me lost and frightened, desperately yearning for the clock to rewind.

All I want is for you to know and understand how much I love you.

That we are eternally connected by something greater than life.

Without you, I lose myself and slowly cease to exist.

I know these words are too late and meaningless now.

I just thought I had plenty of time to say them.

I hope you feel them somehow and know that my heart is forever with you.

Happy Mother's Day mi amorcito - I am always here for you.

Wherever Here Is

Ok, so I don't know where here is.

Seems simple enough a statement but has me wandering under bridges.

Is here before or after you?

Is here my mind, my body or my soul?

Tough to figure out wherever here is.

I thought I knew, I thought it was clear enough,

but I don't seem to know a thing anymore.

I figure it's alright not to know, to float, to dream,

to live in two parallel worlds.

Wherever here is, now seems to be suspended

somewhere between me and you.

I'm Racing

Rhythm lost, conformity dead, sword broken

Cobwebs imprison my mind grounded

Something's missing, can't place it. can't grasp it

Racing the darkness before it arrives

Keeping in shadows layering armor

I'm racing

Shielding life

Exhausted by people who walk with the purpose of stepping off cliffs

Discouraged by those I find sitting on ledges

Wordless disappointment, unexplainable loss

Chasing moon drops for a sign

Waiting for answers to unfold

I'm Racing

Dearest Love

Dearest love,

I am writing to let you know that I have missed you.

Sometimes when it's really quiet I hear the sound of your voice in my head.

Other times for no reason at all your image flashes before me.

I wish that I had hugged you when I said goodbye, held  you close for one last time.

I wish that I had told you that I loved you dearly, but words escaped me as I ran.

I never knew how to truly believe, how to stop to be loved.

I never felt forever was in me, that peace could occupy my soul.

So today I decided to write and let you know that you're still living inside me,

deeply engraved in every crevice of my heart.

As for me I seem to be somewhere between the earth and the howling wind,

still unsettled, still at war, still unable to come find you.

I hope you understand.

For now just know that I carry you with me everywhere I go,

and maybe one day the paths that pulled us apart might bring us together again.

I love you.

Forever Changed

Never a straight line is the path down a mountain.

The rock falling will encounter obstacles that will hinder its descent.

Rubbing it, blocking it, redirecting it little by little wearing it down.

Sadly the journey will not be without its countless scars.

Some rocks will get stuck in the grooves along the way, ending their trip. 

Some will be shattered beyond recognition and form, while others

will be softened with each blow made to lose their shimmering edge.

But no matter the downward course, all will be forever changed.

No rock will ever be as it was, leaving in its place 

fragmented pieces of what once stood high.