Mi Amorcito

I was just thinking of how different life might have been.

Moments slipped by so fast, so many lost and forgotten.

Nothing truly captured, reality sadly erased with time.

Here we are now holding on to the seconds of life.

Trying to feel the heartbeats, keeping the tears inside our minds.

Wishing the journey had lasted longer, maybe with gentler kinder waves.

I know you're still here loving me with all that you have.

It's just that a part of you is trapped unable to communicate your love.

This loss has me lost and frightened, desperately yearning for the clock to rewind.

All I want is for you to know and understand how much I love you.

That we are eternally connected by something greater than life.

Without you, I lose myself and slowly cease to exist.

I know these words are too late and meaningless now.

I just thought I had plenty of time to say them.

I hope you feel them somehow and know that my heart is forever with you.

Happy Mother's Day mi amorcito - I am always here for you.

Wherever Here Is

Ok, so I don't know where here is.

Seems simple enough a statement but has me wandering under bridges.

Is here before or after you?

Is here my mind, my body or my soul?

Tough to figure out wherever here is.

I thought I knew, I thought it was clear enough,

but I don't seem to know a thing anymore.

I figure it's alright not to know, to float, to dream,

to live in two parallel worlds.

Wherever here is, now seems to be suspended

somewhere between me and you.

I'm Racing

Rhythm lost, conformity dead, sword broken

Cobwebs imprison my mind grounded

Something's missing, can't place it. can't grasp it

Racing the darkness before it arrives

Keeping in shadows layering armor

I'm racing

Shielding life

Exhausted by people who walk with the purpose of stepping off cliffs

Discouraged by those I find sitting on ledges

Wordless disappointment, unexplainable loss

Chasing moon drops for a sign

Waiting for answers to unfold

I'm Racing

Dearest Love

Dearest love,

I am writing to let you know that I have missed you.

Sometimes when it's really quiet I hear the sound of your voice in my head.

Other times for no reason at all your image flashes before me.

I wish that I had hugged you when I said goodbye, held  you close for one last time.

I wish that I had told you that I loved you dearly, but words escaped me as I ran.

I never knew how to truly believe, how to stop to be loved.

I never felt forever was in me, that peace could occupy my soul.

So today I decided to write and let you know that you're still living inside me,

deeply engraved in every crevice of my heart.

As for me I seem to be somewhere between the earth and the howling wind,

still unsettled, still at war, still unable to come find you.

I hope you understand.

For now just know that I carry you with me everywhere I go,

and maybe one day the paths that pulled us apart might bring us together again.

I love you.

Forever Changed

Never a straight line is the path down a mountain.

The rock falling will encounter obstacles that will hinder its descent.

Rubbing it, blocking it, redirecting it little by little wearing it down.

Sadly the journey will not be without its countless scars.

Some rocks will get stuck in the grooves along the way, ending their trip. 

Some will be shattered beyond recognition and form, while others

will be softened with each blow made to lose their shimmering edge.

But no matter the downward course, all will be forever changed.

No rock will ever be as it was, leaving in its place 

fragmented pieces of what once stood high.

Eternally Beating

Eternal is the heart,
that never finds its peace.

Beating through decay it festers,
twisting, squeezing inside its lifeless tomb.

Replaying phrases, words and meanings,
 reliving flashes that brought upon demise.

Nothing but echoes left to ripple,
back, forth, forever throughout the ends of time.

Time

Time is fading

so much unsaid, so much undone.

Floating somewhere between

yesterday and tomorrow.

Looking for today to unravel

itself through the wind.

Feeling the loss of the moment past

and the moment that will never come to be.

Needing time to freeze until 

I finally figure out this ride called life.

Home To You

I lost the fire to my soul,

somewhere in time.

Since then it has been wandering centuries

looking to find and inhale yours.

The stars are not as bright and

the Sun never burns my skin anymore.

Looking for your essence

in the empty eyes of strangers,

feeling for your presence

under each and every stone,

endlessly I wander,

to feel the fire of your touch.

Hopelessly needing to hear the universe,

through the whispers of your voice.

Alas, long and weary is the road

that leads me home to you.

Opening the Door to Life

With light I travel on the path that I carve.

There's a glow on the ground by my footsteps leading charge.

How funny to wander running circles in the mind,

waiting for time to clear the clutter filling up the habits of the daily grind.

Then suddenly without warning, my footing becomes long

moving towards shiny moon drops, like a new born yearning strong.

Lost With You

Timeless moments spent roaming in search of eternal flames.

Thirsty for the unattainable and aching for the treasures hidden inside the walls.

Breathless and determined we wandered losing ourselves in the maze of life.

This I carry back as I cross over into my universe, my time, my life.

I carry within me the rubble that captured my heart in a city lost with you.

Lost In Translation

The world is a marvel

to cherish, to love.

Its people descendants

of gods all above.

How hard is it really

to reach out a hand?

To comfort the needy

to nourish their land.

Is peace just an imagine

in some off dreamland?

Or will we cross over

revolt and finally disband? 

Crossroad

The button that I pushed,

found its way across to you.

It was simple misdirection,

not pure quantum calculation.

Didn't think about the journey,

nor the stops along each day.

Just kept looking for more buttons,

to keep doors and paths your way.

The conspiracy to journey,

to defy an act of fate,

brought the voyage to an ending,

through a windless sailing state.

So I stopped and took a breather,
at a crossroad found a row.

Felt a loss of something greater,

but knew time had lost its glow.

In Search of a Soul

So here I am ~ alone,

filtering the pieces ~ snipping,

wondering at the shape.

How did the puzzle of my life web out,

to its existing shape?

Where did the fit get forced in,

to create this design?

Was it possible to transform the shapes,

into different patterns ~ to bring an outcome,

that included love, trust, support, and sunshine?

Cutting and reshaping the pieces of my life,

seem a reasonable choice ~ but into what?

Where do I reroute?  Where do I delete?

Where do I add ~ and what shape should it be?

These are the questions left,

the questions left to life.

The Dance of Travel

Took a train-ride into Boston that inspired me to move.

Saw the landscape through the tree-line full of beauty and soft bloom.

Colors rich in reds and yellows, orange browns on green soft hills.

What an eyesight to behold my vision ~ thirsty, hungry for a thrill.

It reminded me that bridges are the crossings of the bold,

always timeless, always reaching through the passage and the old.

Farms and buildings made of bricks laid across the rails unraveled.

And with beauty and cloaked magic made me feel the dance of travel.

Lifeline

Sing a song to me at nighttime

when the moon is full and bright.

Sing of dreams with soft caresses

sing of silks and feathers' flight.

When you finish all your verses

reach and touch my tired shore.

Cause your songs enchant the lifeline

that keeps air inside my core.

Mind Graffiti

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The colors that have splattered are 

the markings of my mind.

They are full of bright sharp edges

with soft circles at each line.

Single letters tell a story

each with bold and curvy strokes.

Sometimes loudly, sometimes softly

but each layered in the mold.

How I wish a pretty picture

could these images portray.

But instead, they are the markings

of a burst of cans array.

Have you ever painted over

walls that never seem to end?

It's impossible to phantom how

graffiti stays on sand.

Behind Every Flag Lies a Borderless Sun

The silly ramblings of a hopeless wanderer!

You are the voice inside my head that I don't know how to let go of.

If I stop carrying you with me everywhere I go ... will you cease to exist or will I?

Knowing that I will never reach you leaves me aching at my core.

My heart feels lost, my mind feels empty ... my spirit broken.

You were the lighthouse, the beam that kept leading me home ... 

Now I carry my home in my shadow  ... 

always close enough to see ... but never able to reach or touch.

Yesterday I thought of you as you can clearly see ...

but thoughts alone don't transform a dream.

Letting go of you is like letting go of me ... what do I do?

You will forever be my curse, my dream, my life ... my loss.

Through Love & Light

Launched ~ February 14, 2013 

Stay Tuned ;-)

Somebody Like You ...

I knew of your importance before I ever knew you.

I felt the loss of not having you before you even appeared.

I ached at not being able to touch you before hearing your voice.

Paralyzed by your image unfolding before me, I froze.

You were never meant to be real.

You were a dance inside my head,  

a fantasy whispering love songs into my soul.

Yet you came!

How could I react to knowing you were real?

To knowing every thought I had you knew ... 

every feeling I felt you felt?

How could I let you in when you were inside me ...

 silent, watching ...

I couldn't cross over to tell you I had been waiting ... 

waiting for you all along.

In the end all I had was fear ...

Fear of not being good enough ...

Fear of not ever knowing how to love ... 

Somebody like you.

Soul's Journey

A tiny beam resides,

encased.

Circling in a sphere,

imprisoned.

Fighting to escape,

energized.

Pushing on all walls,

surrounded.

Aiming for its home,

released.